Accommodating

1. Accommodating as a Conflict Style

As we’ve discussed before, accommodating is a conflict resolution style in which one party helps to meet another's needs at the expense of their own. It can also occur when the relationship between the parties is of high importance, and the conflict goals are of low importance.

As a style, accommodating is:

• High in cooperativeness
• Low in assertiveness

EXAMPLE

You have plans over the weekend to go to the movies with a friend, and there's a movie you'd really like to see. But your friend has already bought tickets to a different movie that he's very excited about.

You’re disappointed but you don't push back too hard—it would ruin the evening to have a fight, and your friend already bought the tickets to his movie choice, and it doesn't matter that much anyway. It seems like you're always going to see what somebody else wants to see.

EXAMPLE

You're in a team meeting at work. The team is divvying up some roles, and the leader asks, “Who will be the secretary and take minutes for this meeting?” Nobody wants to do that, so there are no volunteers. You start to feel a little uncomfortable in the silence, so for the good of the team you say, “I’ll do it.”

Everybody smiles and says, “Thank you so much. You always do it.” You are always offering to do the things other people don't want to do.

terms to know

Accommodating

A conflict resolution style in which one party helps to meet another’s needs at the expense of his/her own.

2. Positive/Negative Outcomes of Accommodating

Like all styles, this particular style of conflict has both positive and negative outcomes.

A positive outcome is a resolution to a conflict that a party perceives as meeting their needs and/or reducing the likelihood of further conflict.

A negative outcome is a resolution that the party perceives as not meeting their needs and/or increasing the likelihood of further conflict.

EXAMPLE

Think about the movie scenario.

• Positive outcome: Your friend always enjoys hanging out with you because you are agreeable and down for whatever plans he has in mind.
• Negative outcome: You never get to do what you want to do. You feel like you’re always doing what somebody else wants to do.

EXAMPLE

Return to the team meeting scenario.

• Positive outcome: Your coworkers see you as a team player. You'll always pitch in and do what's needed to support the team.
• Negative outcome: You feel like all of these tasks are always falling on you, but you don't know how to say no.

term to know

Positive/Negative Outcomes

Resolutions to a conflict that a party perceives as meeting his/her needs and/or reducing likelihood of further conflict (positive) or not meeting his/her needs and/or increasing likelihood of further conflict (negative).

big idea

Accommodating conflict styles are good for maintaining relationships in the short term because conflicts get resolved early and quickly. However, they can lead to further conflict down the road, due to the accommodating party continually failing to assert their own needs.