Hi, I'm Julie Tietz. And welcome to Conflict Resolution-- putting the pieces together. Today, we're going to talk about asking clarifying questions and how we can use them effectively in our communication. The question types that we're going to go over are yes or no, short answer, leading, and open ended. So we'll go through each of these question types, define them, and also look at a few examples.
With a yes or no question, we are asking this question to confirm facts and are receiving a yes or no response. So is the sales still going on at the department store? Yes or no? Do you like sushi? Yes or no? Did our team win the championship? Yes or no?
Short answer questions are similar to yes or no questions in that we're getting a single response or a brief statement. So when does the sale end at the department store? It ends on Saturday. When are you going to do the dishes? I will do them in an hour. What was the score of the championship game? It was 53 to 20. So here, we are just getting single word or brief answers when we ask short answer questions.
In leading questions, we are typically asking the person that we are asking the question to confirm or disconfirm their assumptions or beliefs. And usually, we are also inserting our own personal beliefs into the question. And so it usually suggests what we are thinking when we ask these types of questions.
Are you sure it's a good idea to buy that shirt? Maybe the person we're shopping with really liked that shirt and explained that they think it's great. So with this leading question, we are trying to maybe instill some doubt or maybe suggest that we don't think that shirt is such a good idea for that person to buy.
Don't you think that the refs made a lot of bad calls at the game? Well, we want the person we're asking this question to maybe agree with us that maybe we wouldn't have lost the game if the refs didn't make all the bad calls. So here, we are inserting are our beliefs on how the game went.
Wouldn't it be better if you did the dishes now? Well, maybe the person that we're asking this question said that they would do it in an hour. And here, we are trying to put into question their choice in doing the dishes later rather than how we feel that maybe they should do them right now.
With open-ended questions, we are typically asking the person for a detailed explanation to get a little bit more clarification and a better, more thoughtful response rather than just a short or one-word answer.
So open-ended questions could look like what was the sale at the department store like? Response could be something such as, oh, it was great. The women's clothes were all on sale. And they had a lot of great buys. But I went over to the men's and the children's departments. And they weren't so good. So I would suggest not spending too much time in those areas if you're going to go.
What happened at the game? Our team lost, but they played really hard and were really great on their offense but needed a little work on the defense. Overall, I am sad that we lost, but I'm really proud of the team and how hard they worked.
How do you clean your dishes? A response could be something like I really like to have hot water. And I like to use a certain brand of dish soap and a certain sponge. And I like to wash my glasses first, something like that. So we are trying to get more information out of a situation from the person we are asking the question.
When we are asking questions, we can do it in a way in which we are eliciting information or in a way that is challenging the other person through the way we are asking the question. And we really want to move away from asking challenging questions to going towards the eliciting information type of questions where we're coming from a point of curiosity.
So a challenging question could be something like really? Do you think that is the best option for this situation? So this I would suggest would be a leading type of question. Challenging questions typically are those leading type questions where we could be getting a more defensive response. And maybe that's not what we're seeking. But when we come off as challenging, the person we are asking the question to may be put off by that type of question.
But we really want to move towards the eliciting information or those more open-ended questions. Example could be now that each of you have chosen your favorite option, can you tell me why you like it? So here, we are asking for a more thoughtful, detailed response. We are giving the opportunity for the parties to explain and really coming from a place of curiosity.
So now that we've gone over our asking clarifying questions tutorial, let's go over the key points. In yes or no questions, we are getting a yes or no response. Short answer questions, we are getting typically a single word or a brief response.
In a leading question, we are in a way challenging a person's decisions or choices or beliefs and typically inserting our own beliefs into the question. Open-ended questions are where we are coming from a place of curiosity and asking for some detailed information.
When we are questioning, we really want to elicit information from our persons that we are asking the question to. And we don't want to really challenge them. So we want to move away from those challenging questions which can put a person on the defense.
Well, that's all we have today. I really hope that you've learned something. And I'm going to leave you with our key terms. Feel free to pause and look at them. And I can't wait to catch you again next time.