Hi, I'm Julie Tietz, and welcome to Conflict Resolution-- Putting the Pieces Together. Today, our topic for discussion is going to be on assertive communication.
So let's start out by talking about what aggressive communication is and assertive communication. When we are displaying aggressive forms of communication, we typically are coming off to people as self-righteous, disrespectful, maybe even coming off as a bully. And really this is an ineffective way to communicate with others.
When we act in aggressive ways, we are really putting people off from us and are not effectively giving them our message. When we are using an assertive style of communication, we are standing up for ourselves. So we're not hiding what our true feelings are or our points of view. We are displaying that, but we're doing it in a respectful way. And in doing so, we are more effective in delivering our messages.
When we use assertive communication, there are a lot of different advantages. And some of these could include, people are more receptive to us. When we are stating what we want in a respectful way, people are probably going to be more open to our point of view. And we also will have our opinions respected.
It's a give and take. If we are respecting others, they may be more likely to respect us. And we could have some better cooperation if we are in a conflict situation, perhaps. If we are using our firm beliefs, but doing it in a respectful manner, people may be more willing to cooperate with us.
And we can use this sort of communication in a lot of different areas. And it could be at home when we're with our families, displaying assertive communication on how we want things done and to work out issues within our family.
This could be at work as well. Maybe somebody at work wants you to take on some extra tasks, but you don't have the time. So utilizing assertive communication in this situation would be helpful.
And, as well, in conflict. Assertive communication is essential in conflict resolution processes. So we can come off as a strong person, but also respectful to other points of view.
There are many ways in which we can use assertive communication. But the best formula to go about doing this is really putting out some empathy and validation. And when we do that, we are letting the listener know that we see their point of view or their perspective. We don't have to agree with it, but we acknowledge that it's there.
And then we will have a statement of the problem. So this is where we would state our problem or something that we find undesirable in the situation. And then we would then state a statement of what you want, which is what we feel would be the best outcome, or what we want to see the listener do for us.
And so an example of this could be, your plans sound like fun. So that is empathy, validation. But we still need to cover your absence. So that is the statement of the problem. You are going to have to ask someone to cover your shift. And that is the statement of what you want.
When we are in communication with others, utilizing assertive communication techniques can become a little bit repetitive. And so using that empathy validation, statement of the problem and statement of what you want formula, can seem like you are being very iterative.
And so there are other techniques in which we can use, especially when we're in a longer or more difficult situation and communication. And one of those ways is diffusing. And I'm sure you're familiar with this-- diffuse the situation.
And this is allowing the other person to become calm before we start up our conversation or communication again. And so we may want to take a break, what have you.
And we may also want to utilize a content to process shift. And here we are shifting our communication topic to how the listener is behaving. And so this could be when we are noticing that the listener is not giving us eye contact or giving us nonverbal communication cues, like rolling their eyes or heavy sighs. And so we may want to point out that behavior so we can move beyond that and really get into our communication.
We may also utilize fogging. And here we are deflecting negative criticism that we may be receiving from a person. So somebody may say something like, well, you really eat too many chocolates in a day. And you can say, yeah, I do overindulgent in chocolate, but that's my choice. And so we are accepting the criticism, but acknowledging that we all have our own choices in our behavior.
And then finally, utilizing the broken record method. And here we may use this in communication. If things are getting off track, and we just simply restate our goals of the conversation or communication.
So now that we've gone over assertive communication, let's go over our key points. Assertive communication involves stating our points and our positions, but in a respectful manner. And once we do this, people will be more receptive and open to our ideas and opinions.
And a good way to formulate an assertive communication method is by utilizing empathy, so acknowledging the situation, and putting in a statement of the problem-- so what you think is wrong or what needs to be fixed in the situation.
And then finally, what you want statement, so how you think it should be resolved. We can also find ourselves in iteration or repetitive situation when it comes to communication. So in those situations, we might want to defuse-- use the content to process shift, fogging, or a broken rather record, as techniques in these situations.
Well, that's all I have for you today. Here are your key terms. Feel free to pause and rewind to look them over.
Thank you so much for taking the time out to view this. And I can't wait to catch you again, next time.