Source: Image of Woman at Computer, Public Domain,http://mrg.bz/i0X4EZ; Image of Couple, Public Domain,http://mrg.bz/km9wyu
Hi. I'm Julie Tietz, and welcome to Conflict Resolution-- Putting the Pieces Together. Today we're going to cover the avoiding style of conflict. So let's get started. Here on our conflict styles graph, the avoiding conflict style is located low in cooperativeness and low in assertiveness. So let's define some of these terms before we get started.
Assertiveness-- behavior in which a person confidently makes a statement without need of proof, affirming his or her rights without attacking another's. Cooperativeness-- behavior in which two parties work in concert to achieve their mutual and respective individual goals. So here let's go back to our graph. We see cooperativeness and assertiveness here on the axes, with varying degrees of low and high in intensity.
Avoiding-- a conflict resolution style in which a party does not make any attempt to address or resolve conflict. So again, going back, we have our avoiding style, located low in cooperativeness and low on assertiveness. So here we're low in cooperativeness, because we're not working with others or addressing other's needs, and low in assertiveness, because we're not making the effort to work on the conflict.
So on the avoiding style, our needs aren't met, and the other party's needs are not met. This could also be known or described as not addressing the conflict. So let's look at some examples of this. Let's look at our relationship conflict.
You've been having issues with your significant other, and they have been having issues with you, but you're not addressing any of these issues, and so your needs are left unmet, as well as your partner's needs are left unmet. Avoiding these needs could lead to a bigger conflict along the line. Next let's look at a work conflict.
Let's say you've been having some issues surrounding a coworker, but you're not assertive in addressing them with your coworker. And you're choosing to ignore it and avoid it, and you're not bringing these issues up to your boss, because maybe you're afraid you're going to lose your job or you're going to be considered the person that is to blame. But either way, you're choosing to not address the conflict.
There can be positive and negative outcomes to any of these conflict styles. And a positive is resolutions to conflict that a party perceives as meeting his or her needs, and/or reducing likelihood of further conflict. Negative is not meeting his or her needs, and/or increasing likelihood of further conflict. So let's look at some positive and negative outcome examples of the avoiding style of conflict.
Positive could be you avoid the conflict momentarily. Maybe it wasn't the appropriate place to address the conflict, or maybe you didn't have the time or the energy. But that doesn't mean you aren't going to address the conflict in the future, but just at that time you're avoiding it to save yourself or the other person for various reasons.
Also, it could leave you time to think. Maybe you're really hot-headed about the conflict, and the other party is hot-headed about it too. And in avoiding the conflict, it gives you time to step back and reflect on things.
Some negative outcomes of the avoiding style of conflict could be you turn a smaller conflict into a bigger conflict. So the more we avoid a conflict, the more it has time to fester, or make larger than it really needs to be, and it could have stayed in the lesser intense stage if we addressed it earlier. Also, it could leave you unable to manage conflict in the future.
If we keep on avoiding conflict, we aren't gaining the necessary skills to work through other conflicts. Also, our needs are unsatisfied, and the other party's needs are unsatisfied. And when our needs are not satisfied, we do not feel fulfilled in our lives. And that doesn't make us feel good. We want to have what our needs are being met.
So now that we've covered the avoiding style of conflict, let's go over some key points. It's important to remember that all people are capable of using any of these conflict styles at one point or another. But we tend to lean towards our preferred style, and we typically apply that. But that doesn't mean we don't use any of the other styles as well.
In avoiding style of conflict, needs of both parties are left unmet, and this can lead to positive and negative outcomes. Positive is you can have more time to think about the conflict, address it in a different way possibly. Negative is you could turn a smaller issue into a bigger one. So if we keep on avoiding it, maybe it could turn into something larger. Thank you for taking the time out to view this tutorial, and I hope to catch you again next time.