Building Blocks of Agreement and Disagreement

Video Transcription

Hi, this is Julie Tietz, and welcome to Conflict Resolution, Putting the Pieces Together. Today, we're going to discuss how we build agreements in conflict resolution processes. So why don't we get started off with our key terms? Gain-- obtaining something of value. Loss-- losing something valued. Momentum-- a tendency for something going in one direction to keep going in that direction, unless affected by outside forces.

When we are faced with making a decision, we are constantly evaluating in our minds how we can maximize the gain in our decision and how we can minimize our loss. So we're always thinking about how we can gain the most of something we value, and how we can minimize losing something that we value, when we make our decisions. And we're constantly looking at this in our mind, and thinking about it, and are wanting to gain the most that we can out of our decisions.

So let's talk about how we make our decisions and how this all works within conflict resolution processes. Conflict resolution processes, we can think about them as opportunities for agreements or gains to happen. Or disagreements, which shows that there is a potential to lose or a loss within the process. And each time we make an agreement, it shows the parties that more agreements are likely to happen. And it gives them a little bit more security and support in continuing in making these agreements in the process. But when these little disagreements happen, it kind of shows that it's possible that agreement is less likely to happen. So we want to maximize as many agreements as we can throughout the process so we can support the parties in making a positive resolution.

So how do we help the parties move in the positive direction of making agreements? Well, we do this by helping them gain momentum or going in the direction-- a positive direction-- in agreements, and to keep on going and keep on working through the issues. And we do this through making a series of, what I like to call mini agreements, within the process.

And making mini agreements is also called agreement stacking. And we can make these mini agreements all along the process, which helps support the parties and show that they can maximize the gain in the process. And sometimes, we do this through actually getting the parties into the room. That's a mini agreement. Agreeing to go into the room and talk about the issues and the conflict is just one little mini agreement that we can get the parties to do.

And we can talk about communication guidelines when we're in the room. So agreeing on how we're going to communicate with each other in the process is another mini agreement that we can make. And it shows that we are building trust within the parties and making them feel comfortable to feel that they can express their views and be respected.

Another mini agreement we can do is find the interests of the parties. We may find through this process that they can agree that they have similar interests. And this is yet another way to find a mini agreement. And the more we do this, the more and more the parties feel competent in making further agreements.

We also can find, again, commonalities. And this shows that their relationship has similar commonalities. Their situations are similar. And in doing so, again, we gain confidence to maximize the gain and minimize loss in the process here.

And as we continue through the process of making these mini agreements or agreements stacking, we eventually can end up with a resolution agreement. We need to then acknowledge all of the accomplishments that the parties have made through this process and all of the strides and the efforts that they've put forth in coming to agreement. And we want to include all of these mini agreements within our resolution agreement.

And it shows the parties that they've maximized their gain and minimized their loss. And the loss could be further conflict with this party. And the resolution agreement shows that agreements are possible, and it could be helpful for them in the future.

So now that we've covered our building blocks of making agreements and conflict resolution processes, let's go over our key points. The building blocks includes gains and losses. So the gain is getting something we value through this process. And the loss is possibly losing something in the process.

But we want to show the parties that the more agreements they make, the more likely they are to continue through the process. And so we want to make mini agreements all throughout the process to show that they are maximizing their gain and minimizing their loss through conflict resolution. I really hope that you've learned something from this lesson today. And I can't wait to catch you again next time.