Cognitive Dissonance and Conflict

1. Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance is a state in which the mind holds two or more incompatible thoughts or beliefs. These thoughts or beliefs are referred to as cognitions, which is a general term for evaluating, integrating, and interpreting thoughts or beliefs.

We want our beliefs and our thoughts to be consistent, and we want the way we behave to be consistent with how we feel we should behave.

When that doesn't happen, we find ourselves in the unpleasant state of being out of sync. We then try to alter that unpleasant state by integrating, justifying, or in some cases, rejecting one of these thoughts or beliefs because it is incompatible with the others.

EXAMPLE

You work at an office, and you've been going into the supply room to take some office supplies that you need; you brought these supplies home. You haven't taken very many things, but you keep going back every week to take a little bit more.

You view honesty as very important, and you think of yourself as a person of integrity. You would never go into a store and steal, so the fact that you've been taking things from the office each week bothers you a little bit because it's in conflict with the belief that you are an honest person. You now have some choices on how you're going to deal with this internal conflict.

One option is to integrate what you're doing here to make it fit with your beliefs: "I worked overtime, and I didn't get paid extra for it; I’m just taking my due here," or, "They get paid a lot more at the top levels, and I don't get paid that much. This is my way of rectifying that inequality."

You could also justify your actions: "I didn't take that much, so it’s not really stealing." Or you could change your behavior: "This is stealing, and I don’t believe in stealing, so I need to stop."

EXAMPLE

You believe that health is very important, so you want to have a good diet. You pride yourself on eating healthy foods, such as fruits, vegetables, grains. However, you have a bad habit of eating chips and chocolate on cold winter nights.

You can try to justify this habit: "I got these chocolates as a gift, so I have to eat them," or "I had a hard day, and I have to relax somehow. This is better than sitting here and drinking a bottle of wine."

You can also try to integrate it into your belief system: "I don’t do this all the time, only during January when it's really cold." If you've ever tried to justify or integrate an inconsistency this way, then you’ve experienced cognitive dissonance.

terms to know

Cognitive Dissonance

A state in which the mind holds two or more incompatible thoughts or beliefs.

Cognition

A general term for evaluating, integrating, interpreting, etc. thoughts or beliefs.

2. How Cognitive Dissonance Affects Conflict

When we choose to express this dissonance, whether by justifying it, rejecting it, or in some way trying to integrate it, we can either escalate or de-escalate a conflict.

EXAMPLE

Taylor lives in a neighborhood where everyone is of the same cultural background. But new neighbors, an immigrant family, just moved in next door to her. They're from a culture that's different than that of everybody else who lives on the block, and Taylor's neighbors hold a few prejudices. Taylor notices that people are shunning the new family, making fun of them and being unwelcoming, and making snide comments about the family's different clothing and mannerisms.

Taylor begins to participate in this talk with her neighbors about these people that they don't even really know. She's always considered herself a fair-minded person, someone who's not prejudiced. Yet here Taylor is, sitting around talking about the new family in a way that's not flattering. All of this has led to tensions in the neighborhood.

Taylor can try to integrate her behavior by saying, "I know that this new family is different from the rest of us. I do know that I like and trust my existing neighbors because I have known them for a long time. Sure it's important to be fair and to not gossip, but I trust that my neighbors know what they're talking about, so I should listen to their feelings about the new family." This attempt at integration can escalate the conflict and the feelings of tension in the neighborhood.

Taylor also has the option to reject this behavior because it does not fit her core belief of being an open and fair-minded person who doesn't engage in rumors and gossip. Taylor could say, "This is wrong; I don't know those people, so I have no right to judge them." If Taylor takes that stance, then she has a better chance of de-escalating the conflict because she's standing firm with what she believes instead of participating in the behavior that she finds objectionable.

EXAMPLE

You find yourself competing with a coworker for a promotion; it's just between the two of you. You know that there's a very important project this coworker is involved with.

You actually have some information that would be helpful to that project. When he asked about the information, you lied and said you didn’t have it. You know that without this information, he's not going to be able to do his best work on the project.

Now you may try to justify this with your belief that you are a person of integrity by saying, "It’s not my responsibility to get this stuff for him; he could find it on his own. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, so why should I give him this information?" Yet you know you've lied, which is not the right thing to do according to your beliefs. You have the information, so you should be giving it to him. If you continue to justify your behavior, there’s a good chance that you could escalate this potential conflict with your coworker.

Or you could decide to reject this cognition, this belief which is in dissonance with your core values, and decide that you have to give him the information. You might say, "He could look better than me and get the promotion; however, I can’t continue to lie about the fact that I have this information."

big idea

Whenever you have a belief, or cognition, that’s in conflict with one of your core values, you have the choice to:

• Integrate the belief
• Justify the belief
• Reject the belief

Integrating or justifying can potentially escalate a conflict, while rejecting the belief that's in disagreement with a core value would likely de-escalate the conflict. This can occur in both minor and major conflicts.