Communication Skills

1. Body Language

One way to execute assertive communication is by using the assertive body language that is influenced by culture. What are these assertive body languages? Some we learned early in our education:

• Face the other person
• Stand or sit straight
• Don’t use dismissive behaviors
• Ensure that you have a pleasant but serious facial expression
• Keep your voice calm and soft not whiny or aggressive

2. “I” Statements

Another way of exercising assertive communication is to use the “I” statement. The “I” statement is focused on the problem, not the communicator, and stays away from the accusatory stand. The implication of practicing this approach signifies acceptance of responsibility of one’s action with a chance for restitution. The use of “I" statements keeps the emphasis on the problem you're having, not on accusing or blaming the other person. The “I” statement shows ownership of your own thoughts, feelings, and opinions.

EXAMPLE

Say "I get upset when he is late for his report" instead of "He makes me upset when he is late for his report.”

EXAMPLE

Say “I'd like to be able to give my report on time” instead of "You're always late for our report!”

hint

Focus on the problem you're having, not on accusing or blaming the other person.

3. Use Facts Not Judgements

The third approach is using facts not judgment. In this approach, facts refer to information being verifiable.

EXAMPLE

One instance would be using facts to make a colleague aware that he/she is habitually late. Verifying this behavior through the use of a timecard provides concrete proof of the behavior and eliminates blame and denial from the conversation.

Authored by Solimar Figueroa, PhD, MSN, MHA, BSN, RN, P-PCA

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