[MUSIC PLAYING] Hi, everyone. I'm Mackenzie, and today we're learning about organization revision-- cutting, adding, and moving. Are you the type of person who likes to keep things organized? In this tutorial, we'll learn about revising and organizing; we'll discuss cutting, adding, and moving; and we'll look at an example of organization revision.
We'll begin by discussing the connection between revision and organization. When I say revision, I'm talking about revisioning or rethinking our writing based on the ideas, the support, and the organization of the paper. This means that organization is key to revision. Not only can we revise the ideas and the support, but we can revise the organization itself.
We have to make sure that our ideas flow logically and coherently together. We have to decide whether or not our ideas are in the correct place or if they jump around or seem out of place. Do the ideas fit together or is there room for other ideas? We have to think about these questions when we're revising for organization of our paper.
When revising for organization we're going to need to add, cut, and move ideas within our paper, so that the paper is well-organized. The great thing about the writing process is that it enables us to freely move words, sentences, paragraphs, or to even write a new draft, so that we can strengthen the organization within the paper. When we revise for organization, we're going to need to add new words, new ideas, new pieces of support, and even new sentences.
We're also going to need to cut words, ideas, pieces of support and sentences, depending on the nature of the organization within the paper. These changes can be as small as changing one word, phrase, one idea, one piece of support, or they can be as large as changing or moving an entire paragraph or writing an entirely new draft of the paper.
Here is an example of what revising for organization might look like. While I am revising my essay for organization, I notice that the supporting sentences in body paragraph number four don't quite match the topic sentence. The topic of this paragraph is, "the consequences of the decrease in manners," but the supporting sentences discuss the perception that manners are decreasing. Because this doesn't match the topic or main idea of the paragraph, I need to remove the supporting sentences.
I then remember that body paragraph number one discusses the perception that manners are decreasing. I'll revisit that body paragraph. I see that this body paragraph is lacking in strong supporting sentences. I don't have a whole lot of evidence here and this might be a great place for me to move those supporting sentences from body paragraph four that were about the perception of lack of manners.
Now that I have moved the supporting sentences out of body paragraph number four, I need to replace them with something so that the paragraph itself is supported. I found some interesting statistics about the effects of lack of manners in the workplace. I will add those so that this paragraph is now well-supported.
Now that my supporting sentences have changed in this paragraph, the last sentence of the paragraph needs to be changed as well. Because the focus of my paragraph is now the effects of rudeness in the workplace, I should reflect that in the last sentence. I'll add a new sentence that reads, "In the workplace, rudeness on a daily basis causes concerning problems for individuals." This example showed us the ways in which adding, cutting, and moving ideas around can strengthen the organization of our writing.
In this tutorial, we learned about revising and organization; we discussed cutting, adding, and moving; and we looked at an example of revising for organization. Keep your ideas organized. I'm Mackenzie. Thanks for listening.
