Power and Role Shifts in Relationships

Video Transcription

Hi, I'm Julie Tietz. And welcome to Conflict Resolution-- putting the pieces together. Today, our topic for discussion is power and role shifts in relationships. So why don't we get started off by looking at our key terms.

Power-- literally the ability to accomplish tasks or get tasks accomplished. Regarding relationships, the ability or authority to direct actions or influence emotions. Role-- a sense of owning responsibility or right to make meaningful contributions in a group or situation. Context-- a specific situation in which a relationship is felt or acted within.

We're going to start off by talking about constructive relationships and what those look like. In constructive relationships, we're allowing shifts of power. So we're allowing another individual in the relationship to take on authority, to influence emotions, to get tasks done. And so we are going back and forth between the parties in the relationship on who has power.

We're also allowing for changes in role. So we are letting different parties in the relationship to own responsibility and to make meaningful contributions within their specific role. And we're also allowing for shared responsibility. And so we're letting other parties within the relationship take on different tasks and responsibilities.

And so overall, in constructive relationships, we are flexible. We are allowing for these changes and shifts in power and role and responsibilities to happen. And we're OK with that because we know that the flexibility within our relationship requires these things to change.

So let's look at some examples. Let's say you're on the job. And your boss has to have some major surgery. And they're going to have to be out for a few weeks. And you're next in line in terms of authority and power within the organization.

And so naturally, you would change your role for a short amount of time while your boss is recovering from the surgery. And so you take on the responsibilities and the powers that are associated with managing and being the boss of your particular job situation.

Also, we see this in the home. Let's say, for example, you tend to-- or you and your partner or spouse have decided that you're going to stay at home and be the primary caregiver and take care of your child. Well, there is a change in circumstances. And you found an excellent job. And so you and your spouse or partner have decided to change the roles and the responsibilities.

And so now you are going to take on the role of going outside and providing income for the family household, whereas your spouse or partner who was formerly in that role is now going to stay at home and take care of the household and the children. And you are being flexible on this. And you're OK because you are adapting to your particular situation.

So along with constructive relationships, we do have deconstructive relationships. And these look like there are no abilities to change our rules. And there are no power shifts. And one of the people in the relationship wants to maintain rigid control over the situation. And there is no flexibility within this relationship. One person maintains the authority and the power and the main roles within this relationship.

So maybe you have found yourself in one of these deconstructive relationships. Now, I just want you to think about how you felt or how you might feel if you were in a deconstructive relationship. You might feel isolated or frustrated and even angry and sad. So these are just a few of the many ways in which we may feel when we are in a deconstructive relationship.

So deconstructive relationships can create or escalate conflict. Going back to the feelings that we had about being in a deconstructive relationship, you can see how our emotions can build up. And we can result in a conflict with the other party in the relationship.

It could it be we are mad that we don't have any significant role in the relationship. Or the other party may feel that they are losing control in the relationship and that you are trying to exercise more power or whatever the situation may be.

So now that we've gone over power and role shifts in relationships, let's go over our key points. A constructive relationship allows for changes and shifts of power and roles. So we're being flexible. A deconstructive relationship attempts to control and maintain power and roles within one party.

And when we are in a deconstructive relationship, we can create conflict or escalate a conflict because our needs and our emotions are not being met within the attempts to control and maintain our power and roles. I really hope that you've learned something today from this tutorial. And I can't wait to catch you again next time.