Hi, I'm Julie Tietz. And welcome to Conflict Resolution-- putting the pieces together. Today, our topic for discussion is the comfort zone and resistance to change. So let's start off with our key terms.
Comfort zone-- the range of situations, feelings, et cetera that a person is accustomed to. Fear of failure-- a perception that not succeeding in a task will harm the self in tangible or emotional ways. Fear of success-- a perception that succeeding at something will harm the self in tangible or emotional ways.
Fear of the unknown-- a perception that undertaking a task will expose one to threatening situations. Fear of upsetting others-- a perception that one's actions will cause pain to others and thus cause emotional harm to the self.
When we are in our comfort zone, it provides us consistency and familiarity. It's what we are accustomed to. And an interesting thing that is with our comfort zone is when we are in our comfort zone, we, although we are provided with consistency and familiarity, we are here even when our situation is undesirable.
I think a good example of this would be a job that you don't particularly like. You know it. You go to it every day. You're getting a paycheck every two weeks. It's familiar. It's consistent. You may not like it, but it's comfortable. And you would think that the comfort zone would only be a place that's fun and desirable and comfortable. It is those things, but also be aware that the comfort zone can be a place that is undesirable.
We often don't move outside of our comfort zone when it's a negative place to be or even a positive place to be. It's because we are hesitant and resistant to change. And we resist change because we have fears. And these are fears of failure, fears of success, and fears of upsetting others.
Let's now see how these fears incorporate in resisting change. Let's go back to a job example. Let's say you've gotten your dream job. And it's located in a new city. And you're going to have to move for that. So let's see why you would be resistant to this new positive change.
Again, you may have a fear of failure. What if I do a bad job? What if I get fired? Or we may have a fear of success? What if I exceed expectations? What if they love me, and this makes me want to stay, and I wasn't planning on staying here for very long? Or it's the fear of the unknown. Will they like me? Will I like them? Will I like the new city I am moving to? Will I make new friends?
And it's also the fear of upsetting others. How will my friends and family take it? Will they be upset that I am leaving the city that we live in together? Will my co-worker friends be mad at me for leaving the job and leaving them? These are all things that we think about and that we feel when we are going to experience a change and why we resist it even if it's going to be positive.
Now, let's see how this ties in with conflict resolution. Our fears can hinder resolution. Just as our fears were making us resistant to changing the jobs, these same fears can hinder us from a resolution. And this happens even when an acceptable solution is on the table. So just as we were fearful of accepting a positive new job, we are fearful of accepting a positive resolution.
So how can we get parties to overcome their fears and to reach the acceptable solution? Well, there is a couple of different ways. We can ask them why they're second guessing and inquire on what their apprehensions are and talk through this.
And then also offer them encouragement. The more we encourage them to go beyond their comfort zone and to see the other side, the better we are at resolving the conflict and overcoming our fears and having an effective solution for the parties.
Now, let's go over our key points on the comfort zone and resistance to change. The comfort zone provides us with familiarity and consistency. And we are resistant to change because we fear a various amount of things such as fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown, or fear of upsetting others. And we don't want to leave our comfort zone because of our fears and even if our comfort zone is a place that is undesirable for us.
And these same resistances can impede on conflict resolution processes. But the more we get parties to open up about their fears, the better we are at examining the situation and coming to a positive resolution for the parties. Thank you for taking the time out to review this tutorial. I hope you've learned something. And I can't wait to catch you again next time.